


Learning Process

by vinegardog



Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M, Sexual Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 12:51:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8625094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinegardog/pseuds/vinegardog
Summary: John tries to teach Aeryn a new skill





	

Written following a comment made on one of the LoMo threads on Terra Firma. No idea why the subject of prophylaxis inspired me more than others. I am starting to worry about myself. I blame the others LoMo frequenters, because of course it’s never my fault! ;) Also I am one of those shippers who always wanted to believe that Little D was begotten during AHR - well this does not fall in with that but the idea made me smile so here you have it.

I am too late for the last SC but this would have fitted in pretty well.

Set during A Human Reaction in Season 1

Rating: NC-17ish

Word count: about 2300

The characters aren’t mine, but John and Aeryn have stolen my heart.

Warning: I can’t write smut. It is a talent I do not possess so I tend to hide behind humour when I do attempt it. I apologise for the botching of what could have been a perfectly good smutty fic.

Thanks to A Damned Scientist for the beta read and help!

**Learning Process (NC-17ish)**

His gentle, tender kiss – a masterpiece, if he said so himself, of sensual but almost chaste poetry of barely touching, probing lips - had quickly turned into a ferocious, devouring attack on his mouth. It had happened so quickly it had made John’s head spin like the maw of a wormhole; the swiftness and surprise of it had left him reeling.

Aeryn had only hesitated for a mere five microts before seeming to decide that yeah, oh hell yeah, if she was going to go out, she’d go out with a bang. Literally.

Fast and limber like a cat, she had turned, climbed onto his lap, pushed him roughly down against the bed, straddled him, somehow taken her clothes off with a swiftness, agility and dexterity that’d have made Houdini himself green with envy and was now attacking the button and zipper of his Wranglers with her nimble fingers while thrusting her tongue in his mouth in ways that he didn’t even know were possible.

_‘Oh shit, shit, shit, it’s gonna happen!’_ John’s blindsided brain screamed in panic between his ears. 

And she hadn’t even said a word so far. Not a one. Not that he minded since her mouth was otherwise occupied doing such deliciously naughty things to him.

_‘Holy hell! It’s gonna happen!’_

He felt breathless – and not just because her mouth was sealed onto him with Dyson-like industrial strength suction -; he felt scared, he felt dizzy… and, oh hell, but he felt horny!

_‘Oh yeah. Oh man.’_

It had been too long since the last time he’d had a roll in the sack. Way, way too long. It wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t right.

_‘Conquer the fear, Johnny boy, this is it. This is the moment. Boldly go where no man has gone before.’_

The momentary shock-and- awe paralysis over, John managed to contribute to her efforts by pulling his wifebeater off over his head first and then running his hands up and down her smooth, bare back while she went to town on him with ferocious abandon.

_‘Oh boy, but is she gung-ho about getting this done, atta girl!’_

This was the Flax all over again with a few major differences: she was now naked on top of him; her clever hands were pushing his unzipped jeans and his Calvins down his hips all in one go…

 _‘Thank-you-Lord_ ’

… and there was no sign of D’Argo barging in yet!

His heart pounded in his chest.

_‘Dear- God- this-is- no- joke, this- is- really- gonna- happen.’_

She felt like a dream straddling his hips and running her fingers along his abs, dragging her short nails through the hair on his chest. He reached up and pulled her ponytail free, cupped the back of her neck and pulled her mouth back to his own into a searing kiss that left her breathless and panting this time.

_‘Aeryn Sun 1 – John Crichton 1’_

His hands framed her face and slowly slid into the silken, raven cascade of her hair. He felt her thick, soft strands tickle his cheeks, his neck, his shoulders. He luxuriated in the feel of them through his fingers, he moaned into her mouth at the overload of sensations that went from his hands, to his tongue, down to his chest where her taut nipples were pressed hard into his pecs and further down to where her sex was grinding against his throbbing hardness.

_‘Holy shit on a stick, it’s happening!’_

Their tongues were still duelling when Aeryn stopped the grinding and lifted her hips off of him…

_‘Oh nonono, don’t do that. Don’t stop!”_

… only to slip a hand in between them, grab him, hold him in place with military precision and determination and begin lowering herself onto him.

_‘Oh yeah, that’s alright then…’_

The heat, wetness and tightness of her had just begun to engulf him when:

_‘Something’s wrong, something’s missing! Stop!’_

“Wait, Aeryn, wait!” He says, desperate voice breaking in a gulp; body screaming in protest at the inexplicable interruption by his brain.

“What?” She asks, angry at his putting the brakes on the moment.

“Stop for a second. Let me think!” He pants it out.

“Stop? You want to stop? NOW?!” She says pissed, incredulous, very pissed – in that order.

“Nononono. No! We’re not stopping. No way!” He is keen, so keen, she has to believe him surely. “But just lemme think for a sec.”

_‘Think, think, think, John. Why did you stop? What the hell made you stop? ‘_

“Think? Think about what?” She hasn’t let go of his hardness yet and as usual she has no clue what he is prattling on about. She knows he wants this, there’s no doubt about that because he is still evidently - very evidently- interested, right there in her hand.

He knows that she is getting frustrated with him and that he is now in clear danger of screwing everything up, that she might just call the whole thing off at any moment.

_‘No, please, please don’t give up on me. Just give me a sec!’_

“Protection! That’s it! We need protection!” All the sex ed classes and his parents’ embarrassing talks with him when he was a teenager suddenly, thankfully, flooded back into his head, unblocking his brain freeze.

_‘Eureka!’_

She looks nonplussed.

“Yeah, Aeryn, we need protection before, you know…” He looks down and nods towards where they are almost joined but not quite.

She frowns: “Protection? Protection from what?” Then her whole body tenses up and she glances towards the window, then the door. Nothing in either place however raises her well- honed sense of alarm. Everything is as it was. No intruders, no danger, no need for protection.

He catches on to her misunderstanding. He coughs out a laugh and wants to kiss her because she is cute when she is all confused and bewildered-looking like she is right now but he thinks maybe he’d better not, because she is progressively looking more and more irritated as well as puzzled and he wants to live, at least until the night’s over and the deed is done, if not longer. So he just says: “Not that kind of protection, Aeryn. Hold on. I’ll show you.”

He doesn’t want to dislodge her from where she is sitting now, straddling his thighs because what if she doesn’t get back there after he does? No way.

_‘Nu-hu.’_

So he lets go of one of her hips and with one hand he reaches down almost to his knees where his jeans have been pushed down and rummages around in the back pocket. Wallet. Bingo. He slips it out, flips it open and while still holding her in place with the other hand, he fishes out the smooth condom wrapper hidden within it. He’ll never know what kind of whimsy motivated him to get one from the machine in the bathroom on the military base, but whatever it was, he thanks his lucky stars for it now.

He triumphantly smiles up at her. She directs a still uncomprehending and ever darkening frowny look back down at him.

He brings the package to his mouth, rips it open, drops the latex onto his stomach and waits for her to do the honours.

Aeryn says nothing, doesn’t move, she just stares intensely at the slithery object.

He continues waiting. And while he waits, John admires her body towering over him in all of its naked splendour. He can’t wait to go back to stroking and kissing every glorious inch of it. He shifts under her, excited and edgy, and finally looks up at her face with a frown of his own.

_‘What’s the delay, honey? I’m dying here!’_

He thinks it, but he doesn’t say it.

She waits. She slowly raises her eyes from the “thing” on his stomach to his face and arches an eyebrow.

“Well? Do you wanna do it… or do you want me to do it?” He finally speaks. He is impatient, the oh-please-please- please-can-we-get- on- with- it kind of impatience.

“Do what?” She asks.

She is trying to kill him, he is pretty sure that she must be, because while this stilted conversation takes place, she is back stroking him firmly, teasingly and, hell, oh so effectively.

_‘Those hands should win awards. There should be awards won for what those hands are doing.’_

“Aeryn, honey, just put it on me, please and let’s get back to where we stopped, whaddayasay, eh?”

_‘Is that pleading I hear in your voice, John? Nah, I call that abject begging.’_

Her frown deepens. Her hand stops stroking.

_‘Oh nonono, please don’t stop!’_

She doesn’t move away but she nervously shifts in his lap, uncomfortable annoyance radiating in waves from her awkward body language.

And then it dawns on him.

_“D’oh!’_

She doesn’t have a clue what a condom is or how to use it. Or course she doesn’t! He wants to kick himself for being so thoughtless and stupid; for making her feel inadequate.

He’s got to make it up to her so he props himself up on his elbows, rubs his strong hands up and down her milky, soft thighs and hopes that that intimate gesture will make her feel better, that it will make her uncertainty and doubts go away. He accompanies it with a jokey explanation: “It’s so that we don’t hear the pitter patter of little feet in nine months’ time… “.

_'Yeah, right. You're not gonna live that long, but still...'_

She shakes her head, but says nothing. He has no idea what that indicates. It could mean that what he’s just said makes no sense to her whatsoever and that she has no interest in finding out what it is, not now at least, or that she thinks his precaution’s unnecessary because she’s already covered in that department in some other way or… who knows? She doesn’t explain; she never does. He is about to ask but doesn’t because before he can she lifts her chin and huffs as to say, so are we getting on with this or what?

_‘Aye, aye Officer Sun.’_

He wants her to feel comfortable though so he offers: “I can show you how to do it if you like. I… I normally prefer it if the girl, you know, does it. It feels good.”

_‘But honey, it really, really doesn’t matter who does it. Just let’s get it done, shall we?’_

“Or I can do it myself. Why don’t I do it myself?” He makes his mind up and goes to reach for the condom but the sudden, steely grip of her free hand on his wrist stops him. He looks up and her forehead is smoother now, her eyes are no longer cloudy and her face is set in determination.

“No, John. I want to do it. Tell me how to do it.” Not a request, an order. Of course, what else did he expect? Challenge extended, challenge accepted.

_‘That’s my PK girl.’_

“Well, okay, then.” He leans back down on his elbows and explains. “You see the little nipple- like bubble on the top of it?” Aeryn nods. “You pick it up by it… yeah like that.” She is still stroking him firmly with one hand and holding the rubber with the other one and he just wants her to hurry the frell up before he explodes but he takes a long breath and patiently continues: “Okay, now with both hands position the round opening of it… um… on the tip of my… yeah, there… ”

Aeryn’s following his instructions with such intense concentration that he wishes he could take a picture of her to look at and enjoy later when he has less pressing urges to satisfy. She is biting down on her bottom lip and handling the condom as if it was a pound of dynamite and her life depended on it. He loses himself in observing her beautiful, focussed face and forgets to give further directions.

_‘Damn, she is so stunning.’_

When the directives stop coming and all becomes quiet, Aeryn glances up from her task to check on what’s caused the sudden silence and her clumsy, inexpert fingers holding the stretched out rim of the condom slip on the lube and before he can say ‘boo’, she fumbles and the rubber snaps on him with a twang.

_‘Sweet zombie Jesus! OUUUUCCHHHH!’_

John bucks and howls in pain, falls back on the bed cupping his aching bits in self-defence and when he can catch his breath back he groans: “Slide it on, Aeryn! Slide, slide slide it on! Never snap it on. No. Snapping. Not. Ever. Woman!”

Unsaddled by his bronco-like bucking, Aeryn had fallen sideways on the bed where she had stayed, saying nothing, throughout his painful writhing and angry berating but now, now… he can’t believe his ears.

_‘Oh no, you are not, missy!’_

She wouldn’t dare! He looks sideways at her and yes, yes she is: She is laughing so hard, tears are trickling down her face.

He is annoyed at first, then stunned: he has never seen or heard her laugh this hard or for this long before and even though precious things still ache, she is breath-taking in her mirth. He can’t take his eyes off of her and before he knows it, he is laughing right along with her and when she collapses in a heap alongside him and throws one arm across his stomach and hitches a leg on his thigh he holds her tight against him and never wants to let her go.

_‘Oh damn, you’re so, so screwed, John!’_

“I’m sorry, John. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She says in a serious voice once her laughter subsides “It just… slipped off my fingers.” Then she cracks up again and the wondrous, tickling sound of more giggling comes from where she has buried her face and her mouth right against his neck.

“Yeah, I know you are. I forgive ya.” He drawls.

_‘Because – hello? There is nothing in the universe you wouldn’t forgive her’_

He buries his face in her hair, kisses her neck just under her perfect earlobe and things below the waist twitch back into full blown, latex-encased life: “But, Aeryn, honey? Since it’s on now, can we please, please put it to good use?”

She doesn’t answer with words but she playfully bites his shoulder first and then licks the tendon in his neck.

_‘…’_

His brain goes blank.

**The End**


End file.
